Meet My Ancient, Senile Kitty

If you’ve followed us for any length of time, you know that I live in a pet-friendly house (my husband says he wants to come back as one of our pets!). Harley and Sunny, our two rescued golden retrievers, definitely get most of the press and the photo-ops, but we also have a hamster and a cat (yes, I vacuum every day and have given up on wearing black!). The cat has so much personality that I honestly am surprised that I haven’t written about him before, but the folks at the SHEBA® brand asked for bloggers to write about their cats, and I realized that since I actually own the funniest cat in the world, I’m doing you a disservice by not letting you meet him! Whether you’re a cat person or not, you have to appreciate the long and storied life he’s led.

This is Tinker:

Tinker turned 16 in September. The vet techs call him “The Old Man,” and the vet is amazed that he’s still alive every time she sees him because he’s an indoor/outdoor cat and apparently they don’t live as long as indoor kitties (Ha! We laugh at vets!). Note the notched ears, singed whiskers, and scraped nose–this boy used to be a contender! And yes, of course, he was neutered at six months, so he hasn’t made any kittens, although if any cat’s genes deserved to live on, it’s this guy’s.

I don’t think Tinker actually remembers who we are at this point, but he graciously tolerates us because we feed him and scoop his litter box. He spends 23.9 hours of each day sleeping, which is a sharp increase from 23.0 hours in his younger years. He prefers to sleep in the kitchen, on the bar stools or even on the counter (no one wants to eat dinner at our house anymore!), and he doesn’t mind the windowsill if it’s warm outside:

Why yes, I’ve tried squirt guns and aluminum foil on the counters, but he forgets the negative stimuli every single time. How can you train a cat like that?!

He’s down to six pounds, even though we feed him all the time (the vet tells me that he’s over 100–so what should I expect?). He only has two of his canine teeth left–one went missing and he sacrificed another one fighting off a pitbull who rudely tried to smell his rear end (the pitbull lost, by the way). He used to crunch “rocks” in years past (what we call dry cat food) but now will only eat moist cat food in cans, or the occasional standing rib roast or Thanksgiving turkey. It’s much more fun to “hunt” your food, after all.

Since he’s decided to become picky about his food in his old age–and this is certainly a decision I can understand and support–SHEBA® Entrées for Cats are a great fit for him. He will turn up his nose at “faux” meat cat foods, and SHEBA® Patés are made with meat-first recipes–using real beef, poultry, or seafood as the first ingredient. He also loves the single-serving cans, because for some reason he really prefers his meal to be at room temperature, instead of refrigerated.

He’s outlived two dogs, and every time we bring a new one home for him to train, he rolls his eyes. For him, I don’t think any of them measure up to his first pet, Maddie:

He’s had two surgeries, including a broken leg that put him in a hip cast for months (I’ve still never seen anything quite so funny!) He’s also lived in seven houses and six states, since we’re a military family who moves pretty often. He once got himself shut up in a house under construction for two weeks and survived on spiders and heaven only knows what else until we found him. He also managed to get washed into a storm sewer during a flash flood… my sweet husband crawled down there with thousands of cockroaches to rescue him when he heard the cries of distress. I think I would have called the fire department!

His most recent, and hopefully his last, adventure was when we moved to Savannah this summer. Upon our arrival, he got out of the car, headed into the woods, and disappeared for six weeks. He’s never liked to move, so I figured he’d finally washed his hands of us. But lo and behold, he was turned into a local vet who found his microchip and called us. He thanked me for rescuing him from life on the streets by peeing in my car on the way home. Now, no one wants to eat dinner at our house OR ride in my car!

So, now it’s time for the old man to live out his days in peace and quiet. He still likes to go outside every day, but he stays in the yard, except when we all go on our evening walk. He always joins us for that, just like he’s done for the past sixteen years. He’s happy to sleep and eat his moist cat food from SHEBA® that has “paté” in the title and real meat as the first ingredient, and I can guarantee you that if I try to put “rocks” in his bowl ever again, he’ll pee on my slippers!

Does anyone out there own a cat older than ours?! Or crazier?

{This program is sponsored by BlogHer and Sheba.  I was compensated for my writing but all opinions are my own.}

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